Gray Cunnar

Artist statement

Most of my late childhood and teenage years were spent grappling with my ideas of mortality. I felt like a heavy weight to myself and those around me. My mind often wandered to how to best make my effect on others as fleeting as possible. I didn’t want to be a burden. And it felt like everything I did was a burden. Who Will You Remember When I’m Finally Dead and Gone…? is a reflection of this point in my life. A self portrait of myself mimicing the style of an autopsy report showing both tangible and intangible scars, and writing directly inspired from my own suicide notes. It explores my feelings of isolation and pain growing up in an environment where I felt unheard and unseen, and the fear that no matter how hard I hoped to be remembered as someone better than who I saw in the mirror, that in the end I never really mattered and would be forgotten.

Despite the macabre subject matter, to me this piece is a sign of growth and metamorphosis. To create this piece I got back into a mindset I used to live in everyday , one I thought I would always live in. But with the work it took to create this I realized more and more how much I’ve grown. Through the support of my friends and the growing relationship I have with my family I realize more and more everyday who they remember and how I was never forgotten and never will be. I cannot stress enough the importance of therapy and medical assistance to get me to the point I am now and if you have ever felt as lost and alone as I once did please do not hesitate to reach out for help. Please, the world is a better place with all of us in it.