Charlize Cardenas

Artist statement

Going abroad in Italy, I had many conflicts about how I label myself as an artist. I also realized I might not be as passionate about art as others. I think I focus so much on other people and how I wish I pursued different careers, that it was hard for me to have a more serious focus on art. I often don’t feel like I think properly like an artist.

I had such a hard time trying to figure out what I wanted for my SI. I went through lots of trial and error that came into fruition during the midterm critique. I didn’t create a piece that was exactly important to me. I am used to just being a realism artist, as I thought those were my limits on what made me great. The students helped me realize that and tried to encourage me to think in a more personal, perhaps abstract manner.

So, I’ve tried to think more personally on why it is I chose to come here for study abroad. I honestly just wanted to learn how to be a better artist. I wanted to get out of the environment I situated myself in, to clear my mind and try to be better. I didn’t realize how popular Florence was until I came, and then I saw it. The streets are flooding with people traveling all the time. Being here a while, I've grown to be a bit bothered by how saturated everything feels. It’s a bit difficult to find the authenticity in it all.

Ithink this can also be a reflection on how I look at myself. Everything feels very blocked off, and it’s hard for me to recognize my internal emotions, so I have to truly dig deep into myself to find out what it is I’m thinking.
So, I’ve tried approaching my emotions about myself and being here through a more literal sense. I like gritty themes and large detail, but I also love realism too.

So, if this was going to be a personal exhibition, I thought it would be nice to show how I was feeling but in a more literal sense, through facial expressions and body horror. Cause it feels like that’s the only way for me to get through to myself, is through actually cutting and seeing what’s inside. The sketchy, unfinished parts are also a reflection of how I’m still figuring myself out, and nothing is ever truly going to be finished. There are still so many works I wish I could flesh out and put into this show, but that will have to be postponed.

It’s going to take a while, but I think being in Italy helped me more with figuring out my technique and what I should work on more, and I’ll never forget the moments I’ve made. I’ll truly miss it all.